Egoista
No theology this time. No epiphanies. No angels from on high, or burning bushes. Just a little State of the Jack Address.™
I’m selfish. Found that out just this summer. I’d known it before, but this was the Summer of Oh-Look-Jack’s-Got-Selfishness-Issues. For instance…
Every problem I had this summer was more or less directly a result of ME pursuing MY own goals in MY timing. Here we are, Thursday night and I’m thinking, “My, won’t it be nice to have a weekend without campers in my tipi…”
SELF.
Oops. Sorry about that. Oh junk, here comes that camper again… Really don’t want to do a one-on-one right now. Better get the rest of them together for the next activity.
SELF.
Ouch. And thus the summer spent itself. “Wouldn’t it be great if I got to lead that camper to the Lord…” SELF. “Wish I could keep my guys motivated and in line like he can.” SELF. “I don’t want to volunteer for extra work…” SELF. “I’m too tired for prayer meeting.” SELF.
Until, finally, drained and emotionally volatile, I looked up to heaven and said, “God, just once, I’d really like one of my problems to be someone else’s fault and not mine.”
SELF!
“Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. Whosoever will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.”
Christ, and Christ alone.
I’m selfish. Found that out just this summer. I’d known it before, but this was the Summer of Oh-Look-Jack’s-Got-Selfishness-Issues. For instance…
Every problem I had this summer was more or less directly a result of ME pursuing MY own goals in MY timing. Here we are, Thursday night and I’m thinking, “My, won’t it be nice to have a weekend without campers in my tipi…”
SELF.
Oops. Sorry about that. Oh junk, here comes that camper again… Really don’t want to do a one-on-one right now. Better get the rest of them together for the next activity.
SELF.
Ouch. And thus the summer spent itself. “Wouldn’t it be great if I got to lead that camper to the Lord…” SELF. “Wish I could keep my guys motivated and in line like he can.” SELF. “I don’t want to volunteer for extra work…” SELF. “I’m too tired for prayer meeting.” SELF.
Until, finally, drained and emotionally volatile, I looked up to heaven and said, “God, just once, I’d really like one of my problems to be someone else’s fault and not mine.”
SELF!
“Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. Whosoever will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.”
Christ, and Christ alone.
posted by Jack at 7:56 PM
3 Comments:
Ouch!! Ok, bud! I appreciate your thoughts and honesty! Though you are not supposed to turn my toes all black and blue! :) No, thanks, bud. It was very good, very good. Thanks for sharing.
~Ba
God, harden me against myself,
The coward with pathetic voice
Who craves for ease and rest and joy.
Myself, arch-traitor to myself,
My hollowest friend,
My deadliest foe,
My clog, what ever road I go.
--Amy Carmichael
May He continue this lesson in you and in me. May He break our hearts over our love of ourselves, and implant right love in our hearts. Jack, keep sharing, please. Thanks.
amen brother. you and i have both seen each other at our worst. endure otter.
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